Welcome to Moving Forward: Alone and Together
Hi! My name is Ahsan. I was married for over twenty years with two daughters. My former wife and I separated in 2013 before we finalized our divorce in 2018. In the end, we collaborated together to create our marriage settlement agreement, and we still work together often as co-parents. Most of the preceding five years, however, was quite painful. I was full of shame, anger, loneliness, and sadness.
In late 2015, I found self-forgiveness and hope at a night of jazz. This led to mental and physical health. Eventually, I registered into a life-curriculum called Landmark, where I came to realize that my racket was poor communication. I wouldn't ask for what I wanted but would then act out when I didn't get what I didn't ask for. It was only after recreating communication that I was able to work together with my former wife in creating our divorce. In the process, I realized that I enjoyed communicating in the form of story-telling. Not fiction, but reality-based stories such as in the Moth- which is an organized event where people tell stories based upon a theme. Eventually, I found a local story-telling event called Voice Box Stories. This is a monthly event hosted by Maureen Muldoon and Cathy Richardson in the Chicago suburbs. The monthly themes are based upon a song. After a few months of going to these shows, I started writing my own stories (though as of late 2019, I have not had the courage to actually get up on stage).
I do want to share these stories, which reflect my journey as well as other stories of life beyond divorce. I will also share music, books, and photos. More importantly, I would like to create this site as a safe place where others may share their stories and feel free to express themselves. Through sharing our experiences and interests we will help each other move forward. We may have come into this site in a new status of being "alone", but through mutual sharing, we will move forward together.
I will initially post one or two stories per week until I use up my "stash" then hope to create a new story each month. I encourage you to share a post- a story, a thought, or a media share. Please send a copy of what you would like to submit to movingforwardat@gmail.com Preferably, it would be as a google doc file. I will then format it and post it to this site. Your stories will be in the Contributors section; other media will be in their appropriate section. You may use pseudonyms for your privacy if you prefer. I would encourage your posts to not be attacks on your former partners in life, but be more about your own self-reflection or journey. If you would like your story to have artwork, photos/video, or music associated with it, please include these in your attachments. As we grow as a community, I am hoping to create an Instagram account to link to this site, so that we have more opportunities to share our creativity with each other. Thank you again for visiting this site, and considering making it a community. Let's move forward together.
- Ahsan